SAHMs Not Qualified to know Economics ...

Wow...is all I can say!

Earlier this week there was a discussion on how Ann Romney, Mitt Romney's wife, is unqualified or unfit to be an economic advisor when it comes to how the economy impacts women;  especially women with children.  All because she was a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM) and never worked a day in her life.  This discussion was brought up by a woman, Hilary Rosen, a political consultant who advises the Democratic National Committee.

First off, what puzzles me the most is why a woman would disparage another woman, especially a person who is in the limelight (such as a presidential candidate's wife) who could be a strong ally for women's issues and needs.  I know its all in the name of "politics" and it sickens me.  Probably the biggest reason why I hate politics.  I wish campaigns would be outlined so that you could only talk about your qualifications with concrete examples and the first person who disparages another is disqualified.  One of the key things in a job interview is to always speak kindly of past and present colleagues and if you have to outline a "negative" in a job you have to put a "positive" spin on it and explain how you become a better person from it.  So surprised that we allow and accept political candidates to speak ill of others.

Anyway, back to this SAHM not knowing a darn thing about economics topic!  What a bunch of nonsense!  Everyone who has money/assets, no matter the amount they own, have to figure out how to spend and save.  Running a house/home/family is not easy without figuring out how to efficiently and effectively spend and save assets.

I gave up a nice paying job to raise my daughter and I turned down the opportunity to interview further for a new job with a company while on maternity leave.  They sought me out and were willing to pay me more than the current job I was holding.  I had worked almost 20 years by this time - worked my way through college up until I had my first child at 39 years old.  My husband and I could be sitting pretty financially, we could probably afford a home twice the amount we live in had I kept working.  I could drive that Mercedes I want and we could travel the world.  None of that seemed important to me when my daughter was born.  She was a very wanted baby and I couldn't fathom letting another person raise her so I could work 9+ hours a day and only see her awake for maybe 2 hours.  I got to see her meet her milestone, make friends, and develop into a nice young lady.  Then my son came along two years after my daughter and it sealed the deal to stay home!  He's been challenged with many medical issues and with his diagnosis with Noonan Syndrome at 5 months of age, we didn't know what type of developmental challenges he would face.  So it was a "no-brainer" that I would remain staying home until he was sitting pretty!

Staying at home to raise children is not just a walk in the park.  I lost my "working identity", I fell into a category that I wasn't comfortable with.  I was worried I was going to lose my brain power because I've watched Elmo's World so many times I'm sure I'll be able to sing the song when I'm dead and 6 feet under.  I wanted to be a Product Manager for a company that developed a super cool Medical Device that was going to cure "name your illness".  I had lofty dreams.  I spent a lot of years educating myself post high school so I can realize these dreams.  All I could think was, holy crud - I'm singing Elmo's World what have I done.  Then I look at my daughter and I see how me being home has helped shaped the person she is.  She is very intelligent, most of that is because of "good breeding" (LOL) but I think knowing that I could give her undivided attention early on by reading to her and playing games and just plain having conversations helped too.  She is a kind person with a big heart.  She is empathetic, compassionate and full of personality.  My son is also doing fabulous.  Had I left him with a sitter or daycare, he wouldn't be close to where he is today developmentally.  Although, good breeding gave him a nice set of "brains" too, I've at least been able to make sure that we keep him on the right track.  I've had to manage a lot of medical quirks and I spend way too many hours in doctor's offices.  Fortunately, I can take my child to the doctor's and not have to look at my watch nervously realizing how much work I'm missing, etc.  Had I worked full-time I'm sure I would have lost a job within 6 months of my son's diagnosis just because of the many illnesses he had that first year of life.

Trust me, there are days where I would die to work in an office, go out for happy hour occasionally and have "adult" conversations without being interrupted every 2 minutes by a child yelling "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy".

I am fortunate that I am a SAHM and I can be one because my husband and I prepared ourselves for that early on.  We made sure that we were financially set before having kids.  I banked my paychecks during my pregnancy with my daughter.  We bought a house assuming "a one income family".  We save for vacations and we save to send our children to private schools.  I work now, but only part-time and I work from my home.  I have flexibility to work when it is convenient for me.  I am lucky.

To make this work and it doesn't matter how much income a person has, you still have to plan for it; which we diligently did.  I got pretty miffed when Ms. Rosen said that Ann Romney had a choice to stay home because her husband was a well established and wealthy business person, and that so many other woman don't have such a choice.  I say "Bull" to that.  If you can't afford to stay home with your children and you want to then (1) save before you decide to have children; (2) have children in a committed relationship; (3) marriages are not disposable - if you don't think you can stay in a life long commitment - then don't get married and start a family.

Just so that it is clear -  What I don't do as a SAHM is sit and eat bon-bon's all day.