Smarty Pants

Over 3 1/2 years ago I mourned the loss of what I thought I had lost.  No parent wants to be told their child is less than "perfect".  I'm one of those parents - I was crushed when I found out my son had a genetic disorder called Noonan Syndrome.  The syndrome has such a large array of issues that I stood there just sobbing and with my head spinning.  It wasn't what I had initially signed-up for.  It was hard to accept because everything pointed pre-delivery through ultrasounds to be nothing but "perfect" - so to be told at 6 months that he wasn't was just unfathomable.

One thing I have learned in the last 3 1/2 years is that the definition of "perfect" is not a fixed definition!  My son is "perfect" and I wouldn't trade him for the world.  Having him in my life has made me a much better person.  I'm guessing this was a life lesson God intended me to learn.

I'm a type of person that has to fix things. If something is broken, I have to fix it.  Having things "unfixed" makes me unsettled.  I will try high and low to fix something until I've extinguished all options.  My son is no different.  Shortly after accepting his challenges, I had to dive in and try and "fix" him.  Turns out, he doesn't need to be fixed.  He's perfect just the way he is - and with a few minor enhancements he'll really shine!

I've been frustrated for the last year with Donovan's stuttering.  Patience is not something I was given and if I could correct this personal flaw I would in a heartbeat.  Patience is needed to help him with his fluency.  The stuttering use to be "situational" but now I'm noticing it as more of how he is speaking in general.  Typically it comes with him initiating a conversation or asking a question.  If the conversation is initiated by someone else or he is asked a question he does just fine. 

We've been working with the school system for the last year but only "casually" because they really didn't see much in the way of dysfluent speech.  The stuttering has come and gone but has stayed around a lot over the last couple of weeks and is getting much worse and much harder to tolerate as a listener.  We talked to a professional at CCF and she passed us off, which was very frustrating.  So I finally pushed the school system to take another look at him.  In order to do that we had to start the process from scratch where they have to evaluate his development from head to toe essentially.  Yesterday the "evaluator" evaluated Donovan while at his preschool.  She observed that he is indeed quiet but only because he has a soft/quiet voice and can't get much of a word in because there is way too many kids in his preschool class of 28!  She did say, however, that she noticed that he knew the answers to the question it was obvious even though he didn't shout out the answer.  And if he did, no one was going to hear him over the shouts of the other children.  Part of the evaluation is that she took Donovan to another quiet room and worked with him.  Essentially testing him to make sure he is where he needs to be cognitively, socially and with his motor skills (fine & gross). She also was evaluating his speech through one-on-one conversations.

The speech specialist called me yesterday afternoon and she actually had an opening yesterday evening to evaluate Donovan.  So we stopped by the school and she evaluated him and determined that what I said about the dysfluency is indeed correct.  So we are working on a plan to get him started with some therapy.  Mostly home therapy but this time she's going to work with me and him so that we can work through his stuttering over the summer as they don't offer therapy during the summer months.  So I felt good about this.  I feel like we can work towards "fixing" this issue.

While exiting the school I ran into the specialist that evaluated Donovan earlier in the day at his preschool.  She wanted to show me the results of her screening.  Cognitively he passed with flying colors, in fact he exceeded the expectations of a child his age - in other words - he's pretty darn smart!  She did notice that his fine motor skills needed some help but it may be as simple as just having him practice more but on an elevated surface.  His gross motor skills were right on the money!

The good news is that he's doing so well, the frustrating news is that since he is so smart and doing well overall, they can't offer therapy in the way of helping with his fine motor skills.  So I'll be tackling this on my own.  She did give me some good insights so I think we can do this together and make it fun too!

So in a huge way I sigh a big sigh of relief.  From 3 1/2 years ago when I thought my child might need to go to a "special" school to now - I've gotten the best present I'll ever get as a "Mom" my child will be able to hold his own, will be able to go to a "normal" school, college and be whatever he wants to be.  That makes me happy, very very happy!

Down deep I knew he was a bright child - just never knew to what extent.  When the specialist told me that he did something that no other child did that she has evaluated and she was just shocked but highly impressed - that made me feel good.  When my 3 1/2 year old can spell his name, spell Buzz and dog without me even teaching amazes me.  What totally knocked my socks off was yesterday he told me he could spell Buzz backwards Z-Z-U-B.  Today he told me he could spell dog backwards G-O-D.  He knows how to use the computer to play PBS Kids appropriate learning games.  He knows how to properly shutdown the computer after me showing him only one time! 

I don't like to brag about my kids because I think that's tacky. Although I often find that I do just because I'm so surprised by their gift of intelligence.  But with Donovan, I feel I've earned the right to BRAG and to be able to shout from high on top a mountain with all my vocal and lung strength that my child is a "Smarty Pants"!