Monday, December 5, 2011

Oh My God there is a real thing called a Worry Gene!

I must start out this blog with the statement that this is supposed to be a more humorous post then not.  I know the fact that I'm pointing that out questions the whole humor thing!  Just, some people don't get my humor so I have to point out what might be the obvious to some but not to others!

I am the youngest of 4 children.  I'm very close with my parents and spent a lot of time with my Mom as a child.  My Mom was a "worrier" - she's mellowed with time.  So I figured that my high anxiety and worry was just something that I picked up environmentally from my Mom.  I know, my poor Mom, all these years I've been blaming her and I come to find out that it might be because I have the "worry gene".  This lovely gene my sister constantly jabs that I, Colleen, am the only sibling that managed to "acquire" it.

Yes, I said the "worry gene".  And seriously, apparently there is a gene that at least facilitates worry and anxiety, if not, is the root cause of chronic anxiety/worry.  How about that for some interesting party conversation - a worry gene!

A couple of weeks ago, my son had an MRI done to check out his pituitary gland.  We referred to this MRI as a "procedure" because he also needed to be sedated when they performed the MRI.  So it appears that my daughter just heard the words "procedure and hospital".  She went to bed the night before my son's MRI and woke up in the middle of the night complaining either her leg or arm hurt or something like that.  She also didn't seem herself when I dropped her off at school, so when the MRI was done we all went to school to pick her up when school was over.  She gave her brother such a big hug that they both landed on the hallway floor.  When we got home and it was just her and me in a room, I asked her if she was worried about her brother, she said yes.  I asked her if that was why she came in my room in the wee hours of the morning, she responded "yes" once again.  This all makes sense because the last time my husband, son and I went to the hospital for a procedure for my son, he landed in the hospital for 19 days.

Fortunately, my daughter's school has a school psychologist on staff and my husband called to talk to her.  Mostly because her teacher indicated that she seems to feel like she has to "mother" everyone, especially those kids that may often find themselves misbehaving, or she is the first to a person who gets injured.  When I say "mother" it isn't meant to be derogatory, but only to state that my daughter seriously feels that it is her job and that she is required to "manage" others.  So I was a little worried (oops - probably should use a different word choice here) that maybe she was suffering from "anxiety" because of her brother and all the things associated with him and we (her parents) needed to know the best way to handle this.  My kids are very close and she is very empathetic and caring towards him, despite being a typical older sibling that likes to tease and annoy too!

We ended up making an appointment with the school psychologist and met with her a few weeks ago. She was very helpful ..... in diagnosing me!  Yes, I said - "ME"!  She started telling my husband and I about how there are two types of "worry/anxiety" that people suffer from.  Some situational, some who just are programmed that way, and then there is a small group of people (approximately 15% of the worrier population) that fall into a category where it has been determined that they have extreme anxiety (worry tendencies) that they believe is linked to a gene.  She then proceeds to list out the characteristics, and sure as you know it - she defined me so accurately that I felt like a deer looking into the headlights of an oncoming car.  It took a school psychologist to tell me that I'm a mental case!  How about that for paying a hefty tuition bill!  Mom gets diagnosed with extreme anxiety and my poor daughter is most likely merely mimicking me.  Or at least I hope that's it - because it certainly isn't fun being the "worrier", actually I'd have to say it stinks big time!

I've always joked that if I got paid for "worrying" I'd be the richest person in the world.  I am so disappointed that I can't capitalize on this "asset"!

In all seriousness, I wish I had known all of this when I was younger.  I think school would have been less stressful for me, and although I was a very good student, I may have faired even better in school had someone recognized my anxiety and helped me to manage it.  I vow I will not let my children suffer with anxiety without a fight, to at least minimize it in their lives.  I learned a rough lesson in January when the dog died and I fumbled a bit, from years and years of mismanaged anxiety.

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