Another Year Older and Another Year Wiser ...

Today is my Birthday, I turned the ripe young age of 45.  Wasn't sure how I was going to accept turning officially "mid-40s" but I think I transitioned rather smoothly.

I spent the day getting my "hair colored and styled" and I feel young and full of spirit!

As I was sitting in the salon chair waiting for the "color" to process, I thought about how things in my life have changed this year.  For the first time in my life I can honestly say - "I am all grown-up"!

A year ago I was faced with the challenge of a dog that was lame and very very ill from pain medicine.  I was so grateful that by my birthday last year she had finally turned the corner and looked to be on the road to recovery.  I remember sobbing into her shoulder telling her I needed her and she could not die.  Little did I know that less than a month later we'd be saying an eternal goodbye to her because she would severely injure her "well" knee rendering her 100% lame.

Meanwhile, my son kept slipping ever so quickly down the road of not eating and eventually was considered - a failure at thriving.  Which consequently made me, the mom, feel like a failure as well!  And I hate to fail so I had to roll up my sleeves and dive in and figure out how to make my son eat, be healthy and strong!  It was a grueling 12 months.  Things are not perfect yet, but we are so much closer to "perfection" than we were a year ago.  I learned that I had more strength than I ever knew I had when my son was hospitalized for 19 days.  Watching him those first 36 hours was heartbreaking, but I never gave up and I fought really hard for him, for us to get answers and to get him on the road to recovery.

I learned how blessed that I am to have my daughter.  How God gave her to me to be my comfort.  I will always remember and cherish the nights when my son was in the hospital when she and I snuggled in bed together.  Someday I'll tell her that she was my therapy/medicine that I needed to get through some rough days.

I learned a lot about myself this year.  I realized that it's okay to admit when I can't control things.  It's okay to admit I need help and it is okay to admit that I don't know everything.

I learned that I am a good Mom.  I advocate powerfully for my children, mostly my son and his needs developmentally, socially and medically.  I've taught my children what is right and wrong, how to respect others and themselves.  I taught them how to have confidence (something I lacked growing up) and to not give up.  But the best thing that I have witnessed over the last several weeks is how well my kids get along!  They truly are two wonderful sibling that truly love and care for each other.  I know I've done something right!

For the first time in a very long time, I feel like I am in a good place in life.  I am truly happy.  I am surrounded by good people that I love and that love me in return.  I am blessed to have two children that I adore beyond words an  I am married to my best friend and soulmate.

I'm okay with 45.