Apparently I was so busy 3 years ago that I never published this blog.
Over the last several weeks .... and as infants turn to toddlers, toddlers to preschoolers, preschoolers to elementary schooler and now embarking upon the middle-schooler phase with my oldest child; I'm finding I need a little mom-writing therapy again.
Sometimes the best messages and advice a parent shares land in the eyes of your child in unconventional ways ... I found out that my 11 year old daughter has been reading my blog. She has read the blog to get to know what makes me ... ME.
So I'm dedicating my blog today to my awesome 11 year old daughter, whom I love with my whole heart, Norah.
Dear Norah,
I wanted to let you get to know me, when I was 11 year old.
I was an awkward middle-schooler, and has I turned 11 and was in 6 grade, I had the worst case of acne that leveled my self-esteem. I wasn't a "cool kid" but I wasn't "a loser kid" either. I just WAS. My first 2 years of high school weren't much better, especially not until I was able to acquire a prescription medication (Accutane) that cleared up my complexion, giving me some confidence and feeling prettier than I had ever felt during my frightful time in puberty. I had to wait to feel somewhat good about myself until I was 16 years old.
This week as I saw you collapse in a bundle of nerves, flesh and bones - feeling the pressure of life swallowing you up, chewing you up and spitting you out and not knowing how to cope, I saw myself. I saw me as an eleven year old girl who was struggling with friendships, confidence, school and my body changing from little girl to a young lady. It was at this time in my life that the boys in my neighborhood I use to play baseball, football and basketball realizing that I was a "girl" and not like them. I saw them avoiding me and not allowing me to join them in the sports I enjoyed playing, and when I finally asked why being told "because you are a girl". I was taken by surprise by their seemingly delayed revelation as I was "always a girl", I hadn't changed my birth given sex. This was brutally hard for me to accept, to be rejected. The only children my age in my neighborhood were boys. My best friend had moved away a year earlier and replacing that friendship was not easy.
I played sports at school, I was a basketball player on the junior high B team. The A team was the better players comprised of 7th and 8th graders; I was in 6th grade, and I was "just OK". I think I scored a whole-whopping 4 points that season. In addition, I joined the drill team that performed at the annual St. Patrick's Day parade and twirled a baton and practiced every Friday afternoon from November until the Friday before St. Patrick's Day. As I recall this time in my life, I can hear you poking fun at me in my head, because this was "so not a cool" activity. Nothing like your School of Rock shows.
I was an okay student, I mostly received Bs but sprinkle in some A's and C's. I was not a "gifted" student, and worked very hard to get the grades I received. I had no academic self-confidence, as I was told by a teacher a year earlier while in 5th grade that I was not smart enough to be the veterinarian I had dreamt of being. Meanwhile, she was telling my bestie that she was smart enough to be whatever she wanted to be. It was a conversation that haunts me to this very day.
I remember sleepless nights because my mind didn't know how to shut-down and relax. I remember days where I felt food was overrated. I remember days where all I wanted to do was stay in bed and sleep all day and be in the comforting company of my Mom.
This past week I experienced through the eyes of you, my 11 year old daughter, what it is like to be 11 in today's world. I see a young lady, who is by all accounts beautiful on the inside and outside, full of many talents, a kind soul, an extremely conscientious person, good friend and an intelligent person.
My 11 year old life was much simpler than your 11 year old life. I grew-up with just a TV, record player, radio, first generation video games and outdoor activities as a distraction. There were no computers, no internet, no YouTube, no FaceBook, Instagram, no mobile phones, no text messages, etc. If I wanted to talk to a friend, I picked up the phone and called them or road my bike to their house.
Over the last several weeks .... and as infants turn to toddlers, toddlers to preschoolers, preschoolers to elementary schooler and now embarking upon the middle-schooler phase with my oldest child; I'm finding I need a little mom-writing therapy again.
Sometimes the best messages and advice a parent shares land in the eyes of your child in unconventional ways ... I found out that my 11 year old daughter has been reading my blog. She has read the blog to get to know what makes me ... ME.
So I'm dedicating my blog today to my awesome 11 year old daughter, whom I love with my whole heart, Norah.
Dear Norah,
I wanted to let you get to know me, when I was 11 year old.
I was an awkward middle-schooler, and has I turned 11 and was in 6 grade, I had the worst case of acne that leveled my self-esteem. I wasn't a "cool kid" but I wasn't "a loser kid" either. I just WAS. My first 2 years of high school weren't much better, especially not until I was able to acquire a prescription medication (Accutane) that cleared up my complexion, giving me some confidence and feeling prettier than I had ever felt during my frightful time in puberty. I had to wait to feel somewhat good about myself until I was 16 years old.
This week as I saw you collapse in a bundle of nerves, flesh and bones - feeling the pressure of life swallowing you up, chewing you up and spitting you out and not knowing how to cope, I saw myself. I saw me as an eleven year old girl who was struggling with friendships, confidence, school and my body changing from little girl to a young lady. It was at this time in my life that the boys in my neighborhood I use to play baseball, football and basketball realizing that I was a "girl" and not like them. I saw them avoiding me and not allowing me to join them in the sports I enjoyed playing, and when I finally asked why being told "because you are a girl". I was taken by surprise by their seemingly delayed revelation as I was "always a girl", I hadn't changed my birth given sex. This was brutally hard for me to accept, to be rejected. The only children my age in my neighborhood were boys. My best friend had moved away a year earlier and replacing that friendship was not easy.
I played sports at school, I was a basketball player on the junior high B team. The A team was the better players comprised of 7th and 8th graders; I was in 6th grade, and I was "just OK". I think I scored a whole-whopping 4 points that season. In addition, I joined the drill team that performed at the annual St. Patrick's Day parade and twirled a baton and practiced every Friday afternoon from November until the Friday before St. Patrick's Day. As I recall this time in my life, I can hear you poking fun at me in my head, because this was "so not a cool" activity. Nothing like your School of Rock shows.
I was an okay student, I mostly received Bs but sprinkle in some A's and C's. I was not a "gifted" student, and worked very hard to get the grades I received. I had no academic self-confidence, as I was told by a teacher a year earlier while in 5th grade that I was not smart enough to be the veterinarian I had dreamt of being. Meanwhile, she was telling my bestie that she was smart enough to be whatever she wanted to be. It was a conversation that haunts me to this very day.
I remember sleepless nights because my mind didn't know how to shut-down and relax. I remember days where I felt food was overrated. I remember days where all I wanted to do was stay in bed and sleep all day and be in the comforting company of my Mom.
This past week I experienced through the eyes of you, my 11 year old daughter, what it is like to be 11 in today's world. I see a young lady, who is by all accounts beautiful on the inside and outside, full of many talents, a kind soul, an extremely conscientious person, good friend and an intelligent person.
My 11 year old life was much simpler than your 11 year old life. I grew-up with just a TV, record player, radio, first generation video games and outdoor activities as a distraction. There were no computers, no internet, no YouTube, no FaceBook, Instagram, no mobile phones, no text messages, etc. If I wanted to talk to a friend, I picked up the phone and called them or road my bike to their house.
Norah, you are an amazing, beautiful, talented, kind-hearted, intelligent young lady of 14 years old. This blog is for you!
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