I went to a Catholic elementary school in the outskirts of a metropolitan city, just barely within the city limits and teetering on the edge of the suburbs. I lived in a city where within the city limits the whites lived on the one side of town and the blacks lived on the other side. My exposure to the opposite side of towns was very limited at best. Diversity in my school was non-existing - we were all white Catholic kids. Just about 1/2 a mile away from my school there was public housing or better known as "the projects". This was where the few African-Americans lived along with economically challenged whites. Crime was not a problem in my neighborhood, but we were always warned about "the projects". It was instilled in our heads that it wasn't safe to hang around there.
The city I grew up in instituted desegregated busing for the schools. Adults on my side of town were nervous and mad that the white kids were forced to go to schools on the other side of town where the schools were not as "good" and the African-American kids would be infiltrating the white side of town, what would this cause?
My exposure to diversity was very limited and happened maybe once a year when we went on a field trip to the Supplemental Educational Center in the city. This Center was a multi-learning facility that brought the city public schools and city Catholic schools together. I thought it was really neat and I remember meeting African-American kids and thinking they were just like me, but also felt sorry for them because I thought they were very poor, because that was the notion placed in my head because the only African-American's I knew lived in "the projects".
So you get the idea that my environment shaped my early opinion of African-Americans. Pretty sad and unfortunate. But this is done all the time to young impressionable kids.
When I went away to college, one of my best friends was an African-American girl. We both were struggling through our engineering classes so we had a mutual bond. She, however, had a great support group in the all black fraternity - and I would periodically go with her to the fraternity house and study and get tutored in Calculus and Physics. These guys were great guys and very helpful. Without some of their patience and assistance, I would have struggled much worse than I did in these courses. I remember one day walking through campus with some of my friends and a couple of the African-American guys from the fraternity stopped me to say hello and ask me how my classes were going. My friends were irritated and were taken back that I knew these guys. A response that surprised and saddened me.
I ended up finishing my undergrad in my hometown at the local university. Diversity was much better realized in this environment and I felt much more at home. I would take public transportation to school most days and random African-American guys would choose to sit next to me, just to talk to me. I had a few African-American guys in my night classes, and they would insist on walking me to my car just to make sure I made it to my car safely.
As I grow older, I find that as a woman, I am better respected and treated much more like a lady by random African-American gentlemen than I do by male counterparts of my own race. I find they are quick to open a door for me as I walk into a building, and often pay random compliments.
All these experiences have reframed my opinion of African-Americans. However, I would be lying to myself and to you if I said I was without prejudice. Yesterday, I was listening to an excerpt of President Obama's Dallas Memorial speech while driving in my car yesterday.
But America, we know that bias remains. We know it, whether you are black, or white, or Hispanic, or Asian, or native American, or of Middle Eastern descent, we have all seen this bigotry in our own lives at some point. We’ve heard it at times in our own homes. If we’re honest, perhaps we’ve heard prejudice in our own heads and felt it in our own hearts. We know that. And while some suffer far more under racism’s burden, some feel to a far greater extent discrimination’s stain. Although most of us do our best to guard against it and teach our children better, none of us is entirely innocent. No institution is entirely immune, and that includes our police departments. We know this.
This was the first speech that I felt the President gave during his 8 years in office that had some substance and so much truth behind it. It was like I did an examination of my conscience and realized that if I'm really going to be truthful, I harbor prejudices. I'm not proud of this, but realize I am only human. And the first course of action to fix an imperfection is to admit you have one.
I can't begin to understand what it is like to be someone other then me. I can't begin to understand the prejudices and racism African-Americans experience.
On the flip-side, they cannot know what it is like to be me. Nor what predisposed notions were placed in my head early on in my life - no fault of anyone just it was how society was back then.
My interpretation of this problem with our society is that we all want, and we want things quickly - especially gratification. We all feel some sense of entitlement but forget that in fact none of us are entitled to anything but common decency - that, we all deserve!
Respect is something that is earned, while common decency is our entitlement.
When we treat others with common decency, we can begin to earn respect.
When we are respected by others, we begin to appreciate our differences.
When we appreciate our differences, we begin to engage in understanding.
When we understand, we become better human beings.
When we are better human beings, we become a world at peace.
I am truly sorry for my prejudices and hope to correct them overtime. Why don't you join me on this journey too!
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