The other day I was driving my car with my son in tow. My daughter was at "Safety Town" camp. Safety Town is a two week summer camp that children going into kindergarden in the up and coming Fall go to learn about every aspect of being safe, and is often a precursor to starting real school in many of the communities where I live.
I never went to Safety Town as a child and have no idea when it "started". It is a great program because the kids learn how to cross streets safely, what traffic signs mean, what to do when a stranger approaches, what to do if they are in a fire or get caught on fire and various other things. They are things that the average parent teaches his/her child(ren) starting the day they were born. But this way, the information is coming from a teacher, a police officer and a fireman. My daughter has really enjoyed these last two weeks and comes home with stories to share and about the things she has learned. She's always been a backseat driver (my fault, I'm guilty of backseat driving) so she's now more of a backseat driver since she has learned about stop lights, stop signs, etc.
So the other day when I was driving home after dropping her off, I had this horrible pit in my stomach. I saw the last 5 years of my life flash by in a passing moment. Poof, my little baby has turned into an intelligent and grown-up girl. She is no longer a baby, toddler or preschooler. She'll be in school all day long, 5 days a week from August 17th until who knows when. As I thought about this a tear dribbled down my cheek. How did 5 years just zip on by so fast? I am fortunate to be a stay at home mom with my kids. I've gotten to witness every day of her life - some good days, some not so good days. My daughter has always been head-strong. We butt heads a lot and I'm sure this is just the beginning of mommy/daughter struggles. I'll admit, there were days that I just wanted to put her in daycare and go to work, because it would just be easier. Then I start thinking about all the things we didn't get to do just her and me and I'm like "oh crap"! I thought this period of time would last forever and now its 5 weeks left before she starts kindergarden and before she is gone all day long 5 days a week.
I feel bad because for the last 3 years her little brother has been the focus of my life. She has been awesome at taking a backseat so that he could get the necessary attention he needs to make sure he is healthy and developing properly in every way. She's been my helper. She helps entertain her brother so I can get things done around the house. She helps me with chores. She's always been someone I could have a full blown "almost adult like" conversation. I hate to admit this, but she's not only my daughter, she's my best buddy too. I don't let on that she's my buddy - because I'm supposed to be her mom!
So this morning as I was getting ready for the day - that pit in my stomach came back. Today is "Safety Town Graduation" - and it is that one step closer to her going to all day kindergarden. So I'm feeling a bit edgy today.
I walked up to my daughter and said, "I need a Norah hug today". She gives me this nice gentle, kind and warm hearted hug. She says to me, "Mom are you getting sad because I'm going to go to school soon?" How did she know? How did she know that was what is going on in my head? I said, yeah. I am a little sad that you are growing up too fast. I'm sad that I won't be able to get a "Norah hug" anytime of the day I want and need one.
I then told her as of Monday, we are going to have 5 weeks of fun. The first half of summer has been busy. Now our fun begins.
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