The other day I was driving and the two kids were in their respective car-seat and booster-seat in the back seat of my vehicle. I had the radio on but only just loud enough to hear it. I hear my daughter point out a dog to my son that looked like our beloved and deceased dog, Zoey. I really thought nothing of it, other than it made me miss my dog.
Then I hear my son say to my daughter "where is Zoey, why is Zoey gone Rorah?". (Rorah is his pronunciation of my daughter's name "Norah"). I hear my daughter say - "Remember, she hurt her leg and she had surgery. Then the leg was still hurting and she limped a lot. Then in the winter she chased a rabbit and she hurt the other leg really bad. She couldn't walk anymore. Mommy and Daddy didn't have the money for surgery so they let her go to Heaven."
I had to gulp back tears and keep my composure. I didn't say a thing because I didn't know what to say at the time. It broke my heart to hear my daughter tell her version of the story. Although only 1/2 true it still broke my heart to think that she thought putting my dog to sleep was all about "money".
Yes, money was a big reason. We had to make a decision between our kids' needs and the dog. Not a position we wanted to be in but it was where we were at the time. If we knew surgery would "fix" the problem and stop it from re-occurring with a guarantee, we would have done it no matter what. The problem was there was no guarantee that it would fix her problems. She was limited in medicine she could take because most anti-inflammatories were ulcerating her very sensitive digestive system. The surgery, recovery and therapy to get her walking again was going to be hard for her and very painful. In the end, we made the right decision as hard as it has been to deal with after the fact.
When my kids will really understand what happened and why we made the decisions we did, I will tell them the full story. Unfortunately, my "big eared" daughter heard my husband and I talking and only got a fraction of the story.
*Sigh*
Kudos to Norah for putting it all together - in sequence even. You've got a smart cookie there. Don't feel bad about the parts she picked up on. It's part of life. We protect our kids as best we can but reality is, money is a key deciding element. It`s sad that we have to choose...
ReplyDelete