Bonuses

Life comes with lots of opportunities you just have to be open to them.  The best is when you stumble across "bonuses".  The special little things in life that you didn't necessarily ask for but are pleasantly surprised and grateful for.  For instance, today I was driving down a road I normally travel when dropping my son to and from school - to my pleasant surprise I saw one of my favorite creatures standing on the side of the road looking all proud "my beloved wild turkey".  It was a "bonus" visit from a creature that just puts a smile on my face on a gloomy weather day.  Or the bonus when my son decides to eat all by himself.

As I get older I learn to appreciate the small things and not to sweat them either.  I realize how lucky I am to have my parents around as the years keep going by.  Since my parents probably would rather I not share their ages lets just say they are living in "the bonus years".  The last 12-18 months have been a little rough as I've noticed that time is starting to slow them down and taking away some of their youthful appearance.  My Dad is walking slower and my Mom isn't as much of a "neat freak" as she use to be.  They visit more doctors these days than they did in the years past and they take more medicine too.  All signs that life is on the wind-down phase.

This is the part of life that I've been dreading so much for the last 40+ years of my life - the not knowing but the inevitable will eventually happen and I can't explain why it's hitting me hard now.  In my perfect world we would all leave this world at the same time after we've exhausted our adventures here on earth together.  We would not leave anyone behind as we would all go forwards together.  I've felt this way since I was a child.  I've had friends who lost parents when they were young children, teenagers and young adults - so I appreciate the good "luck and fortune" I have.  I cherish every day and moment I have with my parents.  I find that I need to hug them more and I'm not a kissy person, but I find that I need to plant a kiss on the cheek or forehead occasionally.  When I walk out of their house or before ending a phone conversation - I always have to tell them that I love them - just in case it's the last time I ever get to say such things.  So weird how the mind works ... why is at this point in my life that I am on high alert?  My parents are in generally good health.  We've had a couple of scares over the years between hearts, cancer and miscellaneous things, but in the end all things seem to work out favorable.  I guess I'm protecting myself so that I don't get complacent and assume my parents will be around forever - as much as I would love them to.

Last year around this time, I lost a dear Aunt.  A person whom I thought would have made it too 100 with bells on her feet and dancing until the cows came home.  Then to all of our surprise, God called her about 11 years too early.  She went from a vibrant individual who didn't look her age to a very feeble individual as cancer took over her body.  I think this was the "eye-opening" moment for me.  That I can't assume that even though today my parents might be "generally well" that they will always be well, as it can all change on a dime.

My Dad landed in the hospital over the weekend, without going into details - my daughter was deeply affected by this.  She prayed for him at Sunday school and right before bed the two nights he was in the hospital.  When you are older, the doctors like to keep you in for observation and that's pretty much why he was in the hospital.  He came home yesterday to the relief of all of us - the less time one spends in the hospital the better!  My daughter asked me if my Dad was going to die.  I told her I hoped not, as I was not ready for him to go anywhere but to his home so I can visit him whenever I wanted to.  She wanted to know why we all just didn't die together.  I get why she was asking, as I wonder that myself.  So I did tell her that someday that her grandparents (my parents) will die and it might be sooner than we would like because they are older and their bodies are slowing down and God might just want them for Himself, but I'm hoping that God is in a "sharing mood" for quite awhile so that we can enjoy them more.  She started to tear up - and I told her that the best way to deal with this is to make sure she spent as much time with her grandparents (both sets) as she can, to have no regrets when God eventually taps their shoulders to have them walk home with Him.

I'm enjoying my "bonus days" and will continue to do so as long as possible.  Make sure you don't take for granted your "bonus days"!