She's Got it Right!

Every day is a learning experience when you are a parent.  You learn a lot about the world around you, what makes kids "tick" and you learn to see and appreciate the small things in life.  Sometimes I learn more about "life" from my two kids than I ever would have learned had I never had them.  Knowing this, I feel truly blessed and lucky that I am a Mom and especially because I am a Mom to my two kids specifically!

I try to instill good values, morals and ethics in my children.  I want them to be well respected people because they are good people - kind, generous and loving people.  I think I'm doing a pretty good job.  I can't take full credit because my kids have a wonderful Dad and he's 1/2 responsible for how they turn out!

One thing I am personally more aware of since having my son is children/people with special needs.  I think I always had a sweet spot in my heart for "special people" but I don't think I really understood the importance they have in our world like I do now.  I'm going to side step a little here to share something that popped in my head last night before I continue on with my "story".  When I was a child, I noticed that children with disabilities, especially children with Downs Syndrome were pretty much hidden from society.  I had a relative - a third cousin I guess you'd call her, that has Downs.  She took a liking to me instantly and I tried very hard to play with her, but she was rough with me and so very clingy that she scared me.  Unfortunately, that image and experience stayed with me for a very very long time and made me very uneasy around people with disabilities.  The other thing I noticed about my cousin was that her Mom dressed her like an old maid.  She wore polyester clothing and had a hair style that just did not flatter her in the least.  She was only 2 to 3 years older than me too.   I find out years and years later that she was hidden and not "treated" like a "normal" person because her Mom was embarrassed by her.  It broke my heart to hear that.  Meanwhile, there was a boy that I went to school with for 8 years that had a little sister with Downs Syndrome and the family treated her like a "princess".  She wore normal clothing and despite her physical characteristics she was a normal little girl.  She was so sweet and her half a dozen siblings treated her so sweetly, you could tell they loved her to pieces and they were not embarrassed by her.  I remember running into my former classmate when we were in our twenties and I asked him how his little sister was doing.  He first thanked me for asking about her but I saw the beam in his eyes and the smile on his face as he told me how well she was doing.  It dawned on me then that my poor cousin was treated so horribly in comparison.

I remember going through fertility treatments and saying to God, I'll accept whatever you give me.  I had already prepared myself mentally for a "special" needs child even before I knew I was pregnant with my daughter.  Fortunately, she turned out "perfect" and life went on.  Then I found out I was pregnant with my son and from the ultrasound where they could get measurements of the limbs and his were measuring small in comparison to his torso, I had a feeling that I was about to embark upon a challenge when he arrived.  I was right, he is a challenge but in being "realistic" my challenges are manageable and small by comparison to other people.  His genetic diagnosis of Noonans Syndrome hit me like a ton of bricks and I did have to climb up the ladder of life after falling of it when we first learned about his genetic disorder.  The climb back up the ladder hasn't been as bad as I thought it might be.  I think its helps that society has a better understanding of people with special needs.  At least better in relation to the society that was present when I was a little girl.  Instead of hiding children that are special, we as a society are better equipped to accept and deal with the challenges they face.  I love how special needs children are integrated into the mainstream schools.  I know some schools have mainstream students adopt special need classmates and help them along the way, both academically and socially.  None of this was present when I was in school.  So to that, I say "kudos to society" for getting it right!

Now back to my story... Last evening we, my husband, kids and I, were watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition.  The family that was getting a new home had a child with a brittle bone disease.  The child had a wheelchair and special equipment to help him with his "physical" struggles.  My daughter and son were just captivated by this story.  I think my son was more captivated by the fact that the little boy was/had gone to Disney World.  However, my daughter was very interested in the child.  She asked a few questions along the lines of what was wrong with him.  I could tell she knew he was "special".  She turns to me after the show was over and says, I like how they were able to help that little boy.  It was really cool that he got a new wheelchair and a playhouse that was safe for him to play in.  She said Mom, that was so nice of those people to build them a nice new house!  Before we go to sleep at night, my daughter always wants to know what your favorite part of the day is and she'll share her favorite part too.  Last night she said she liked watching the show where the little boy got a new house.  She said she liked that they were trying to help him.

I was so impressed that she got the message behind the show.  How to help those who need a little extra help in life!  I saw the compassion in her eyes and the real genuine concern she had for this little boy.  I think when she's a little older, maybe we'll have to let her volunteer at a "camp" for special needs kids.  I think she would benefit greatly but I also think she has a lot to give.  She definitely got it right!