It allows you to dream, plan and execute.
The other night, Donovan and I were snuggling up in his toddler bed talking. He was telling me all about the dentist that came to his pre-K class at his school. (I think it was two dental hygienist that actually came to his school after looking at the pictures.) He told me how important it was to brush his teeth at least twice a day and he had to floss. He was very indignant about this flossing "because you don't want to have plaque Mom, it puts holes in your teeth!" I was truly amazed and amused that my 4.5 year old retained all of this information and could regurgitate it so clearly and so enthusiastically. So I asked him "do you want to be a dentist when you grow up"? He said, "I don't know what does a dentist really do Mom?" So I explained that the dentist looks at your teeth and puts his fingers in your mouth to check the teeth - he was not a fan. He then turns to me and says Mom, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Not sure how to take that question - I guess I could take it that he thinks I'm young. Or then again he could just think I'm immature for my age.
My response was "I am grown-up" - I'm a mom and I work as a product manager, and I work with products that help people - so I'm happy. Donovan then says to me "I want to do what you do mom"! Of course that warmed my heart!
Anyway, I come to find out my son really wants to be a "space ranger" like Buzz Lightyear. Unfortunately given his medical quirks, him being an astronaut is pretty much an impossibility. My silver lining to his heart issue is he can never be enlisted in the military. Which is only fair for me as a mom, I have enough to worry about with him that it's only fair I don't have to worry about him going off to war someday. I'm sad though, because this little "dream" of his sort of ends before it gets started.
One thing as parents, teachers and anyone who works with children, we always want to inspire our little people (and teenagers too) to be the best they can be with the talents and dreams they have. Never never never squelch what might even be a pipe dream. Never never never tell a child they can't do something.
When I was a child, I always wanted to be a veterinarian. When I was in 5th grade I had a teacher ask my best friend and me what we wanted to be when we grew up. I was so excited to share my dream of being a veterinarian so I spoke up first. She told me "Oh Colleen, becoming a veterinarian takes lots of schooling and it's not easy study - I think it might be too hard for you". Meanwhile she says to my friend, "Jill, you are so smart you can be whatever you want!" I am not making this up, it happened and it killed my dream of being a veterinarian right there. She pulled the self-esteem/self-confidence rug right from under my feet and I fell hard to the ground.
I have ADD or ADHD when it comes to careers. I started out in college wanting to be a superintendent of a construction site building buildings - grand buildings. So I went to college and started out in Engineering - undecided either civil or mechanical. My Dad's career as a salesman/self made Engineer inspired me.
I found out while taking engineering related classes that I just was struggling. No matter how hard I tried, Calculus was not clicking. There went the dream of being an engineer, so I switched to Business and decided to concentrate in Human Resource Management. I really wanted to be a mediator for labor disputes which would require a law degree. I made it through and got my bachelors degree. Only to look at the LSAT and say forget it. Not a fan of standardized tests.
I started working in a Benefits department and that was so boring and not me. I eventually switched to Marketing and loved it. But I still wanted to finish the engineering degree I started because I don't like to quit something. So I took classes and got to a point where I did some deep soul searching. I really wanted to be a biomedical engineer - I had this pull towards medicine and I just knew this was what I wanted to do. After chatting with a very wonderful and successful entrepreneur, he mentored me by sharing with me what I needed to do to become a Product Manager for a Medical Device company. He laid out what I needed to do to get me where I wanted to be. He was the first person (outside my parents) to give confidence by helping me strategize my experience, education and career path. This man will never know how grateful I am that he took an hour out of his very busy day on Saturday afternoon to help me (someone he didn't even know before meeting with me that day) to get me to where I am today!
My daughter started out wanting to be a veterinarian, which I encourage but also explain that it's a lot of hard work, and the payback sometimes isn't what you expect but if that is what you want to be then I am all for it. I have a nephew-in-law that is living his dream as a veterinarian and it hasn't necessarily been an easy go of it. Not because of the educational part but just the whole getting the experience you need to become successful in the field and to payback all those student loans. She wavers back and forth about being a vet and then wanting to be a singer/dancer. Of which I seriously cringe (since we are paying big bucks to send her to a private college prep school) and try to say that she can do both. That maybe the singing/dancing part could be more of a hobby.
I will never squelch a dream of my children, however, I will be straight about what to expect. That some dreams come with lots of hard work, sacrifices and ups and downs. But in the end they can be whatever their hearts desire when they grow-up!
Donovan said to me in his sweet little way "I can't wait to grow-up so I can be a Dad." I asked him why? Because it meant he could go to work! I love how that little boy thinks. He makes me smile 99% of the time.
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